Thank you to those who have been following my writing on this blog.
My non-fiction story, “Shruti Loves Kit Kats” has been published in Snapdragon: a Journal of Art and Healing !
Please check out the fall issue here.
I love this literary journal because it celebrates emerging and existing writers, and it shows how words can be both beautiful and therapeutic.
Enjoy!
“Tassels are so fun! You can wear them as earrings, on a chain as a necklace, or even lining a top!” — SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
When I see a tassel, I think stripper. Thank you, cable television, for giving me images of strip clubs that I can’t unsee. I’m sure there’s some man I can blame for that.
Who brought this trend back anyway – a cowboy?
The grouping of cutoff strings on a tassel remind me of Aunt Edna’s pillows in the formal living room where no one sits except ladies awaiting a gentleman caller.
To use the word of the moment, let’s RESIST, shall we? Or we could just call this trend fringe..so much edgier!
Which brings me to….
2. Pom-poms
“Pom-poms are so fierce.You can line a pillow, your dress, your handbag, and, of course, your ears! Plus,they can be rainbow-colored. O-M-ROYGBIV!” —SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
I see pom-poms, and I think cheerleading; then I stop thinking. I’m not sure pom-poms are part of this girl’s “squad goals”.
And, by the way, aren’t items named with a repeated word meant for toddlers? Do you think Anna Wintour can say “pom-pom” without breaking into a giggle. It’s like a grown up saying “doo-doo” or “wee-wee”.
I say this trend is a “no-no”.
3. Frayed hems
“Intentionally distressed jeans are so 2016, to look effortlessly chic, try frayed-bottom jeans!” —SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
I’m sure I won’t look like Huck Finn getting ready to paint a fence; I’ll look like a liberated woman set free from a double-stitched hem.
I think I rocked this trend back in the eighties when my mother was too cheap to buy me new pants and cutoff my sisters so I could wear them.
Speaking of my mother, I’m sure she can relate to this type of rebellion. Wearing frayed hems is just like burning a bra, but without the fire hazard.
4. The Cold Shoulder
“Showing a little skin in an unexpected way is way sexy; try a cold shoulder top!” —SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
In some ways, this is exciting. I feel like us ladies have “cleaved” enough over the centuries to finally take ownership of what we’d like to expose. Why not don a blouse that’s just as butchered as a late-night Trump tweet?
Michelle gave us the right to bear arms; 2017 is giving us the right to bear random ovals of skin.
Personally, I like the cold shoulder turtleneck. It’s like the clothing equivalent of a mullet — business on the neck and party on the shoulder! Could there be a better look to thwart pussy-grabbing?
Just remember:
Whether you choose to accessorize yourself like a curtain tie-back or a throw pillow, whether you show flesh through frayed cloth or laser-cut holes, just remember it’s your body.
It’s all about CHOICE, ladies.
*This was originally published 5 years ago,but the message remains the same: go ahead and lie*
Today is Valentine’s Day. This is the one day of the year that it’s okay to lie to your loved one.
That’s right, I said it’s okay to LIE. We do it all the time. Check it out –
First, we lie to each other in the cards we give. The bestselling cards are not the ones that speak the truths. For example, here are honest greeting cards that didn’t make the cut for Valentine’s Day 2017:
1. I love it when you pick the socks up on the floor without me asking.
2. I love how we still have that spark – even if it only lasts 5 minutes at a time..
3. You’re everything I ever dreamed of. Of course, these days I can’t remember my dreams…
4. I wish I could find the words to tell you how much I love you, but I’m tired from trying to come up with words to beat my coworkers at Words with Friends…
5. (And from the male perspective). I love you just the way you are, even if you wear yoga pants 90% of the time..
Second, women lie to their men to CHALLENGE them. Some common lies she will utter:
1. “Don’t get me flowers because they die”.
Yes, flowers die. This is a trick. She doesn’t want generic red roses in a cheap vase with a big bow. She wants you to put more thought into it. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to be creative.
2. “Oh, we don’t have to do anything for Valentine’s Day. It’s just another day.”
True, it is another day. So is her birthday, your anniversary and Mother’s Day.
3. “Don’t buy me lingerie.”
This is actually not a lie. She means, don’t buy some sleazy lacy thing. She does mean that a nice set of pajamas or loungwear would be lovely.
4. “This is just a holiday invented by the greeting card industry.”
Once again, this may not be a lie. She means, tell me you love me in YOUR OWN WORDS. No pressure…at least write additional words into the greeting card.
Third, we lie to ourselves.
1. We use February 14th as an excuse to eat excessively rich foods because we think that’s romantic.
Eating a lot of chocolate fondue is not romantic. The only thing hot and steamy after 10 forkfuls of strawberries dipped in chocolate will be your bowels…
So it’s your decision on how much truthiness you want in your Valentine’s Day. While I don’t think it’s sensible to lie, there may be a few exceptions…at least when it comes to the greeting card situation.
P.S. If you think you’ve missed your chance to do something really special, think again. You can be thoughtful and sensible by buying 50% off candy the day AFTER Valentine’s Day. If your woman is still insisting that she can’t eat chocolate, then break the candy up into pieces so all the calories fall out….
Those of you who know me personally have been waiting for me to put this post up?
“Susan, you work in finance. Why don’t you make your blog about personal finances?” I’ll tell you why.
However, I like money. I want to keep what I have and get some more. But I don’t need it dominate my life. So I streamlined all the advice I’ve ever received and cobbled it together with my 34 years of life experience to bring you these 5 sensible ways to deal with your $$$$:
So, I know the next question is – “How do you deal with your money?”
Like my life, I have moments of success and a lot of average moments, but I think over the long run it will yield above-average results. So here’s how I stack up against the 5 tips from above:
What if my husband loses his job?
What if our son needs a private school education?
What if something happens to my mother or his father?
What if I get pregnant with quadruplets?
What if I had invested had not invested in solar panel stocks?
Any computer programmer will tell you that the only way out of a loop is to write an exit statement….so I let myself ride the loop for a bit, then I write an exit statement that takes me back to the present.
For me, sleeping well comes down to minimizing debt and having ample liquidity. The only debt we have is our mortgage, and we have at least enough cash to cover 6 months of expenses. Could we use some of that to take some super nice vacations? Yes, but it wouldn’t be worth it because then I’d be sleepless in a $400/night hotel room instead of my own bed.
This might sound strange coming from someone who is a born planner (See this post), but over the years I have developed a taste for leaving things to chance or opening the door for randomness.
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “random” is:
lacking a definite plan, purpose or pattern
I am not alone. Most of us over plan our lives and get upset when things veer off course. Perhaps, randomness is unavoidable and should be enjoyed as a critical part of life.
So here are 10 Random Facts about Randomness:
Online dictionaries are using social media and its concepts. When you look up a word you can find the “popularity” of that word and you can share where you’ve “Seen and Heard” the word with other people through your Facebook account. Try looking up “random” at www.merriam-webster.com where you will find that “random” is in the bottom 40% of searches on its site. Also, there are 7 Facebook comments about the word. 
The random radio is also good for introducing you to new songs or artists. Isn’t that why we’re all singing Gotye’s “Somebody”…
7. Randomness creates more interesting stories. Try recalling a great vacation. Was it so wonderful because you did everything you planned to do? Perhaps you remember taking an aimless stroll in an unfamiliar city or meeting another couple while getting rained out of your planned activity. I remember all the times we got lost more than all the times we followed the directions exactly.
8. Play:children as randomness:adults. The definition of play sounds awfully similar to random: as a verb “to play” is to move freely or move aimlessly about. As children, playtime is encouraged because it enables the child to develop creativity and imagination. As adults, randomness may be the ticket to finding inspiration and creativity and, ultimately, to more productivity.
9. People who live random lives are also known as Bohemians, hipsters, slackers, spontaneous people or fun people. I wonder if these random people ever get a kick out of brief moments of planning and organization like us planners get a kick out of randomness??
10. My mother used to have a notepad that said at the top, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans.” So maybe when we experience the Joy of Randomness it’s not so random and part of a bigger plan…
So whether you like it or not, randomness is everywhere. Put the planner down and turn off the GPS for a bit. You might as well embrace it and let life take its natural course…
Traveling for the long weekend? Anticipate waiting in traffic or to board a plane? Why not take a break from staring into your mobile device or tablet and find your entertainment in the actual world and try playing a game of “Backstory”. It’s a game that requires no batteries and is appropriate for all ages. You can play it by yourself or even better, with your family.
We started playing “Backstory” when we were young and unmarried hanging out in NYC (mostly in restaurants and bars). We were always on the lookout for celebrities, but often let down. However, there were some fake-out moments.
When we saw celebrity look-alikes, we deemed them “Fake (celebrity name)”. For example, ultra-skinny, long-faced girl with girly hair was “Fake Sarah Jessica Parker” or middle-aged man who looked like a scraggly drunk with blond hair was “Fake Nick Nolte” – actually, I think that was just Gary Busey that time…
Anyway, even in stylish NYC not everyone looks like a celebrity, so when we didn’t spot a celebrity or a fake celebrity, we wouldn’t let the fun end. We came up with the “Backstory”for these ordinary folks, gave them names, developed a small plot line and in 5 or 10 minutes would create a story nearly as compelling as the average sitcom.
You, too, can get in on the fun. Why not try playing “Backstory” on this Memorial Day weekend?
“Backstory” works like this:
It can be really fun, but there are some rules:
Together we decided that she was a woman named “Marjorie” who had been married to “Phil” for 35 years. They lived in Canada and had a mutual love for all things fruity. In fact, Phil was a well-known fruit distributor in their hometown. They had saved a small portion of Phil’s bonus every year for the last 20 so they could take a fabulous trip with their family. However, when their son, Tyler, got fired again for looking at dirty pictures at work, they decided to ditch the family, buy some fabulous resort clothing and fly first class to Tahiti. So far, they were very pleased with their change in vacation plans. Marjorie was looking forward to shopping for black pearls in the town square tomorrow. Phil was looking forward to the nightly show at the hotel and watching those half-dressed Polynesian women shake it again…
By the way, “Backstory” can also be an ongoing game. It can make an otherwise dull daily commute into a quick and fun little ride. I see the same commuters everyday on my 40 minute train ride and actually know very few of them. They have no idea that I know each one of their “Backstories”…
It would be awesome to hear what kind of “Backstory” games you all come up with? Please share!
Perhaps I have been accused in the past of being pessimistic, but I think I am practical – sensible, really.
I hate when people tell me to think positive or that things will always work out. How do they know? Last time I checked, there are always thousands of reasons why plans get derailed or goals don’t get achieved. There’s a whole list of phrases that really bother me:
My husband has been telling me to think positive. My coworker tells me, if you wake up and think things are going to happen they will. And the books!! Don’t get me started on the plethora of books….
You mean all I have to do is just wake up think “I’m going to positive now! Things will happen!”?? Let me tell you, my negative sensible thinking has been going on for a while. I have proof.
Yesterday was Earth Day. You see, over twenty years ago I wrote on this topic. The essay was dire and dark enough for the local paper to run it. So to prove how far I have to go from myself to becoming a super-positive person, I’m sharing with you my “Mother Earth” essay I wrote as a 12-year-old. See below:
Greensboro News & Record, Sunday, Nov 11, 1990
What will our Mother Earth look like 100 years from now? She’ll be very, very ill, for one thing. Her surface probably will be very dried out and her beautiful features will be dead or dying. Don’t expect all her limbs to be there. She and her children will be tired and worn. Her children will be wearing gas masks and oxygen tanks because of all the chemicals in the air. All clothing will be cool and light since the ozone layer has vanished and it has let extreme heat come in. This is also a cause for wearing sunglasses. Her children will have to wear sunscreen to protect their skin. Food will be scarce because all of the crops will have died. In 100 years don’t expect life to be fun or comfortable, we’ll be living dead. So be kind to Earth, our mother.
Susan
Grade 7
Believe it or not, I was a happy kid. I really don’t know where these dark thoughts from, and I can assure you that if I ever laid awake at night worrying it was about boys and gossip – not the environment.
So far, almost 22 years have gone by, and I think a lot of Mother Earth’s beautiful features are thriving and most people are surviving just fine without gas masks and oxygen tanks. Although goofy weather events, including an incredible warm winter here in the Northeast, seem to be telling us something…
My concern for the next 78 years has less to do with the ozone layer and more to do with the economic environment – but that’s a different post…
So, 22 years later, I’m trying to be more positive – really, I am.
I’m trying to be sunny. In fact, someone awarded my the Sunshine Award a couple of weeks ago by TrishaDM.
The blogging award comes with some rules about sharing some information about yourself and mentioning/nominating other blogs. I’ll get to all that soon. Right now, I’ve taken this Sunshine award as a directive – so, yes, I will add more sunshine. And, I vow, that my next published writing will be more upbeat and at least written in a consistent tense (I can’t overlook all flaws now…).
By the way, I do believe there is some merit to these self-help books I mentioned above. It would be hypocritical of me to eschew double negatives in writing and then permit myself to be doubly negative about positive-thinking books….
Full disclosure – the only book of the bunch I read was “The Power of Now”, which was a gift from my Aunt Sherry who was a generous and fun-loving woman bright enough to light up any room. She is truly missed. So I think it’s about time I reread that book, which is available free as a PDF here. I’m positively overdue for rereading it….
Have you ever read the book, “The Carrot Seed” by Ruth Krauss?
It’s incredibly simple and woefully bland to look at. It is 12 pages of simple words and filled with only 4 dull colors – brown, white, beige and 70’s yellow.
Surprisingly, my kid loves it. Lately he has been making me read it to him 3 times before he falls asleep. Why this book above the other more colorful books? I initially had no idea.
I understand wanting to read “Good Night Moon” – it’s a cool little story. I really enjoy the newly illustrated “The Little Engine that Could” because I like to do the sound effects and it’s beautiful to look at. But “The Carrot Seed”? After reading the first few pages, I’m ready to crawl into the crib and head for a snoozefest.
Let me condense an already fairly short book for you:
A kid wants to plant a carrot seed.
One by one his family members tell him that it won’t grow.
He doesn’t listen and waters the plant anyway.
Nothing grows for a couple of days. Then one day a carrot grows.
The End
Mesmerizing, right?
So why do I think my kid is a genius again?
He makes me read this book multiple times. The other night after the second reading, he looked at me to make sure I was getting it. I think he thought I was just going through the motions. He sensed I wasn’t entirely “in the moment”, so he made me do it again. Then a light bulb went off in my head – this is a story about persistence.
Slight dramatization of the actual exchange:
Owen turns to me and cups my chin in his hand. He turns it slightly to face him. With eyes wide he pleads, “Read it again.”
I flip back to the cover and begin to read it again. This time paying attention to the words and looking at the very simple drawings and simple colors.
“And then, one day, a carrot came up just as the little boy had known it would.” I read aloud.
Together we looked at the young boy carting off his giant carrot in his wheel barrow holding his head high.
Owen turns to me and says, “He didn’t give up mom.”
“You’re right. He really kept at it even when it seemed like it was unlikely to happen.”
The all-knowing blue eyes stared at me to make sure I got the message.
“Yes, Owen. Giving up can be easy. I should keep at it and make sure it happens despite how hard it may seem.”
My kid might be onto something. Perhaps he sensed my defeatist attitude about my job lately. Maybe he knew that I could do it but that I needed to be patient and keep at it until one day success would come. By day I was getting pushed around by 200 lb men. By night I was being put in my place by a 26 lb bundle of wisdom.
So, I’m keeping at it and hoping to cart home a giant carrot one day, just as my little boy had known I would.
Yep, my kid is a genius.
This is not an April Fool’s Joke – I’ve actually been nominated for an award. Thank you Peace, Love & Fabulous Things for giving me the Versatile Blogger Award!
First of all, I haven’t been nominated for an award since I was a kid. Second of all, I can’t believe anyone cares what I have to say, especially enough to give me a shout out!
What is this Versatile Blogger Award? This is the way it works:
If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.
So, I will pay it forward. I therefore nominate the following bloggers:
I realize that’s only 8 bloggers. I think 15 is kinda a random number and I should get to choose how many I want to nominate. As I see more blogs I like, I will certainly give them a shout out….
And, in case you care, here are 7 things about myself you probably do not know:
So thanks again Peace, Love & Fabulous Things for the award and thanks to everyone who has been reading the blog. It’s been a really fun outlet, and I look forward to sharing more with you all!
Here’s your chance to tell me how you really feel – I’ve created a little poll to see what you’d like more of here at Sensible Susan. Please take a minute to vote and feel free to comment with your own personal requests. I look forward to hearing from you!
Juicing is everywhere. Celebrities are doing it. There a thousand websites devoted to it. There are businesses popping up all the time promoting their organic juices.
It’s not enough to eat organic fruits and vegetables. Real nirvana is obtained when these things are slowly cold-pressed, packaged in thick glass bottles and sold for at least $10 a pop.
There are claims that ailments like ulcers, skin diseases and IBS can be eradicated just from juicing. There’s even a documentary about it – Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Catchy title, isn’t it?
I’m talking about juicing, cleansing, detoxing. It’s all the rage in the NYC-area. From Organic Avenue to Blueprint. There is even the Master Cleanse (aka the lemonade diet) which was first made popular in the 1970s and then again when Beyonce claimed that’s how she lost the weight for Dreamgirls.
Why do people do it?
What do I, Sensible Susan think of these reasons?
So, why did I do it this past weekend?
TO TAKE A MUCH-NEEDED BREAK FROM FOOD AND ESPECIALLY FROM THE PLANNING, SHOPPING AND COOKING OF MEALS.
Oh, and to lose a bit of weight…
I picked a long weekend when the hubby was away so I could do it my way and be a grouch without feeling too guilty. I paid a significant sum to have the juices made for me and delivered to my door. I got 5 juices a day: 2 green juices, 1 beet and carrot juice, 1 red fruit juice and 1 almond milk.
I like fruits and veggies and have tried being on a raw diet for a while, and so, I actually liked the taste of the juices and found them rather enjoyable. I didn’t really miss food. I should note that I was neither hanging out with any other adults that weekend nor surrounded by any cooked food. I was like an alcoholic staying dry while on Mormom retreat. It was easy to avoid tempation in an unrealistic every day scenario…
I didn’t feel any hungrier on this diet than any other diet I ever attempted. Did I find my Zen? Um, no. The only epiphany I had was discovering that homemade almond milk with cinnamon is crazy delicious.
I did feel a sense of freedom, though. I was free from worrying about food. I was free to think of other more important things. I was free to feel like a celebrity – doing something all trendy and relying on other people to make and deliver my healthiness. If I ever meet Gwyneth or Demi, I’m sure I’ll feel an immediate kinship with my fellow “juicers”.
Will I juice again? Maybe. I’ll do it for more sensible reasons though – just to enjoy the taste of it or to use up an abundance of fruits and veggies if I ever grow a garden or belong to a CSA.
The ultimate results:
I did lose 2 lbs – woohoo! So, yes, I probably will do it again in a few months. The cleansing part? Well, the only thing that really got cleaned out was my wallet….
Susan Van Sciver 
