Valentine’s and Honesty Don’t Mix

*This was originally published 5 years ago,but the message remains the same: go ahead and lie*

Today is Valentine’s Day.  This is the one day of the year that it’s okay to lie to your loved one.

That’s right, I said it’s okay to LIE.  We do it all the time.  Check it out –

First, we lie to each other in the cards we give.  The bestselling cards are not the ones that speak the truths.  For example, here are honest greeting cards that didn’t make the cut for Valentine’s Day 2017:

1.  I love it when you pick the socks up on the floor without me asking.

2.  I love how we still have that spark – even if it only lasts 5 minutes at a time..

3.  You’re everything I ever dreamed of.  Of course, these days I can’t remember my dreams…

4. I wish I could find the words to tell you how much I love you, but I’m tired from trying to come up with words to beat my coworkers at Words with Friends…

5.  (And from the male perspective).  I love you just the way you are, even if you wear yoga pants 90% of the time..

Second, women lie to their men to CHALLENGE them.  Some common lies she will utter:

1.  “Don’t get me flowers because they die”.

Yes, flowers die.  This is a trick.  She doesn’t want generic red roses in a cheap vase with a big bow.   She wants you to put more thought into it.  It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to be creative.

2.  “Oh, we don’t have to do anything for Valentine’s Day.  It’s just another day.”

True, it is another day.  So is her birthday, your anniversary and Mother’s Day.

3.  “Don’t buy me lingerie.”

This is actually not a lie.  She means, don’t buy some sleazy lacy thing.  She does mean that a nice set of pajamas or loungwear would be lovely.

4.  “This is just a holiday invented by the greeting card industry.”

Once again, this may not be a lie.  She means, tell me you love me in YOUR OWN WORDS.  No pressure…at least write additional words into the greeting card.

Third,  we lie to ourselves.

1.  We use February 14th as an excuse to  eat excessively rich foods because we think that’s romantic.

Eating a lot of chocolate fondue is not romantic.  The only thing hot and steamy after 10 forkfuls of strawberries dipped in chocolate will be your bowels…

 

So it’s your decision on how much truthiness you want in your Valentine’s Day.  While I don’t think it’s sensible to lie, there may be a few exceptions…at least when it comes to the greeting card situation.

P.S.  If you think you’ve missed your chance to do something really special, think again.  You can be thoughtful and sensible by buying 50% off candy the day AFTER Valentine’s Day.  If your woman is still insisting that she can’t eat chocolate, then break the candy up into pieces so all the calories fall out….

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