Thank you to those who have been following my writing on this blog.
My non-fiction story, “Shruti Loves Kit Kats” has been published in Snapdragon: a Journal of Art and Healing !
Please check out the fall issue here.
I love this literary journal because it celebrates emerging and existing writers, and it shows how words can be both beautiful and therapeutic.
Enjoy!
“Tassels are so fun! You can wear them as earrings, on a chain as a necklace, or even lining a top!” — SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
When I see a tassel, I think stripper. Thank you, cable television, for giving me images of strip clubs that I can’t unsee. I’m sure there’s some man I can blame for that.
Who brought this trend back anyway – a cowboy?
The grouping of cutoff strings on a tassel remind me of Aunt Edna’s pillows in the formal living room where no one sits except ladies awaiting a gentleman caller.
To use the word of the moment, let’s RESIST, shall we? Or we could just call this trend fringe..so much edgier!
Which brings me to….
2. Pom-poms
“Pom-poms are so fierce.You can line a pillow, your dress, your handbag, and, of course, your ears! Plus,they can be rainbow-colored. O-M-ROYGBIV!” —SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
I see pom-poms, and I think cheerleading; then I stop thinking. I’m not sure pom-poms are part of this girl’s “squad goals”.
And, by the way, aren’t items named with a repeated word meant for toddlers? Do you think Anna Wintour can say “pom-pom” without breaking into a giggle. It’s like a grown up saying “doo-doo” or “wee-wee”.
I say this trend is a “no-no”.
3. Frayed hems
“Intentionally distressed jeans are so 2016, to look effortlessly chic, try frayed-bottom jeans!” —SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
I’m sure I won’t look like Huck Finn getting ready to paint a fence; I’ll look like a liberated woman set free from a double-stitched hem.
I think I rocked this trend back in the eighties when my mother was too cheap to buy me new pants and cutoff my sisters so I could wear them.
Speaking of my mother, I’m sure she can relate to this type of rebellion. Wearing frayed hems is just like burning a bra, but without the fire hazard.
4. The Cold Shoulder
“Showing a little skin in an unexpected way is way sexy; try a cold shoulder top!” —SexyMagazinewithMalnurishedModels
In some ways, this is exciting. I feel like us ladies have “cleaved” enough over the centuries to finally take ownership of what we’d like to expose. Why not don a blouse that’s just as butchered as a late-night Trump tweet?
Michelle gave us the right to bear arms; 2017 is giving us the right to bear random ovals of skin.
Personally, I like the cold shoulder turtleneck. It’s like the clothing equivalent of a mullet — business on the neck and party on the shoulder! Could there be a better look to thwart pussy-grabbing?
Just remember:
Whether you choose to accessorize yourself like a curtain tie-back or a throw pillow, whether you show flesh through frayed cloth or laser-cut holes, just remember it’s your body.
It’s all about CHOICE, ladies.
One day, driving along the curvy road next to my street, my eye latched onto a white piece of paper stuck in the grass on the side of the road. As soon as I saw that piece of litter, I saw the rest – cups, containers, bottles. There was too much to count, too much for one person to even stop and pick up.
Is it really that inconvenient to hold your trash in your own car and then dispose of it later, I wondered. Someone else should worry about it. It’s not my problem, I thought.
Then there was some trash talking – not, the trash talk between adolescents on playgrounds and basketball courts – the garbage was speaking to me.
This is what the Roadside Rubble had to say.
“Whoa! Whoa!”
Mr. Styro had been resting firmly in the grips of his purchaser, a dad-like guy, who was going at break-neck speed down a narrow windy road. Without a goodbye or any proclamation Mr. Styro was launched through the car window and onto the side of the road.
“What is this place?” Mr. Styro asked. There were brown, crunchy leaves beneath and large trees lurked in the background. He was not trained for this environment. This was no coffee shop.
“Hey, man,” said another styrofoam cup with pink and orange writing on it. “Welcome.”
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the land of the discards, the roadside rubble, the unwanteds. We go by a lot of names, actually,” the cup motioned to the other cups and plastic containers and paper wrappers around. There was a deflated beach ball nestled against a log and a large rubber tire partially submerged in the earth.
Mr. Styro trembled. Everyone around him looked so…damaged.
“You’ll get use to it. It’s almost like vacation. You get to be in the fresh air, no one is trying to put you back to work, and you’re safe from being turned into some other takeaway container. See that brown container over there: used to be a newspaper, then got waterboarded into becoming a vessel to hold organic lettuce. You’re safer here. Well, you’re safer here for a little while.”
“How long have you been here?” Mr. Styro asked.
“I think it’s been six months. I don’t mind it. I get to see the stars. Everyone is pretty nice except for Mr. Beach Ball. I’ll be here for quite a while. I’m Duncan, by the way.”
“What happened to the beach ball?”
“He rolled away from a pool party last May and he’s been deflated ever since.”
“How do you know you’ll be here for a while?”
“If no one snags me, I should be here for at least five hundred years; that’s how long it takes for the chemical bits of me to decompose. Old Cutie over there, the tiny styrofoam cup with the old pink and orange label has been here almost twenty years.”
Mr. Styro saw the wrappers hanging out telling jokes. Old Cutie and the other cups were keeping warm in the one sunny spot. All the plastic utensils huddled together. They must be used to being in a pack, Mr. Styro thought.
“Yep, everyone kinda sticks to their kind. It’s easier to hang with those who have the same biodegradable rate, that way you don’t miss your friends when you’re gone.”
“You said that you’d be here a while, but not if someone picks you up. What does that mean?”
“See that white and green sign over there on the side of the road? That says this road is adopted by some group of teenagers who are supposed to pick us up and throw us in the garbage. It almost never happens. If you see more than three teenagers walking, hide. They’ll come after you with these horrible pinching things.”
Mr. Styro wanted to take notes, wanted to keep himself from further misery. When he was born at the factory with his other family, they told him it was his duty to serve wherever he was called: coffee shop, office, birthday party. And it was his duty to handle the heat, to provide caffeine to the humans who needed it all day long. He’d have a great tour. He’d see the world, and, when his tour was over, he’d meet back with everyone at the landfill. No one ever mentioned anything about roadside rubble.
“You’re wondering if you’ll ever see your family again, right? The landfill? Look, kid, I’m not going to lie; It’s probably not happening. So get used to us; we’ll be your family now.”
The cup took him around to meet the other cups, each one starting to decay just a bit. The plastics still looked remarkably well. One plastic salad container told him that they were thinking of splitting into two groups: true plastics and biodegradable plastics. The paper products were all lumped together: wrappers, containers, newspapers, homework assignments, receipts. They lived each day like a party because they were the first to go. Then there were the others: a group of misfits who didn’t have enough of their kind to form their own group. The deflated beach ball, the broken lawn chair, and the clothing all stuck together, but didn’t speak much. The old tire seemed to be the elder, and he was certainly stuck in his ways.
“Why do the humans get rid of us so easily? No one said anything about this during training. We were supposed to feel pride in serving.”
“Ha!” the cup laughed. “Why do the humans do anything? They are an entirely strange species who drive too fast, eat too much and care too little for this land beneath us. But they rule. We’re at their mercy.”
Mr. Styro looked up when he heard the screams. A tiny long plastic green thing was flying through the air; another toss from a fast-moving car. The skinny green stick stood on its one leg, it’s tiny round head shaking in disbelief.
“Splash sticks go over there,” Duncan pointed to a small group in the shadows of the paper cups and plastic lids.
Mr. Styro recognized him. Cups, stirrers and splash sticks were like different troops working in the same battle. He felt sorry for the little guy, who was used to being supported by the cups and the lids.
Duncan leaned on Mr. Styro. “Don’t get attached to them. Those little guys don’t even get a chance to decompose gracefully. Usually some animal comes by and chews on it thinking it’s a bug or a stick.”
“Why don’t they move, get out of harm’s way?” Mr. Styro asked.
“Safety in numbers, man. Stick close to the road, then you’ll always have someone around.”
On Earth Day make a vow to be mindful with your garbage, and please, think twice before adding to the Roadside Rubble.
Locally, you can participate in clean-ups. Information is available here:
Groundwork Hudson Valley’s Great Saw Mill River Cleanup
What are you doing for the Earth today?
*This was originally published 5 years ago,but the message remains the same: go ahead and lie*
Today is Valentine’s Day. This is the one day of the year that it’s okay to lie to your loved one.
That’s right, I said it’s okay to LIE. We do it all the time. Check it out –
First, we lie to each other in the cards we give. The bestselling cards are not the ones that speak the truths. For example, here are honest greeting cards that didn’t make the cut for Valentine’s Day 2017:
1. I love it when you pick the socks up on the floor without me asking.
2. I love how we still have that spark – even if it only lasts 5 minutes at a time..
3. You’re everything I ever dreamed of. Of course, these days I can’t remember my dreams…
4. I wish I could find the words to tell you how much I love you, but I’m tired from trying to come up with words to beat my coworkers at Words with Friends…
5. (And from the male perspective). I love you just the way you are, even if you wear yoga pants 90% of the time..
Second, women lie to their men to CHALLENGE them. Some common lies she will utter:
1. “Don’t get me flowers because they die”.
Yes, flowers die. This is a trick. She doesn’t want generic red roses in a cheap vase with a big bow. She wants you to put more thought into it. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to be creative.
2. “Oh, we don’t have to do anything for Valentine’s Day. It’s just another day.”
True, it is another day. So is her birthday, your anniversary and Mother’s Day.
3. “Don’t buy me lingerie.”
This is actually not a lie. She means, don’t buy some sleazy lacy thing. She does mean that a nice set of pajamas or loungwear would be lovely.
4. “This is just a holiday invented by the greeting card industry.”
Once again, this may not be a lie. She means, tell me you love me in YOUR OWN WORDS. No pressure…at least write additional words into the greeting card.
Third, we lie to ourselves.
1. We use February 14th as an excuse to eat excessively rich foods because we think that’s romantic.
Eating a lot of chocolate fondue is not romantic. The only thing hot and steamy after 10 forkfuls of strawberries dipped in chocolate will be your bowels…
So it’s your decision on how much truthiness you want in your Valentine’s Day. While I don’t think it’s sensible to lie, there may be a few exceptions…at least when it comes to the greeting card situation.
P.S. If you think you’ve missed your chance to do something really special, think again. You can be thoughtful and sensible by buying 50% off candy the day AFTER Valentine’s Day. If your woman is still insisting that she can’t eat chocolate, then break the candy up into pieces so all the calories fall out….
Those of you who know me personally have been waiting for me to put this post up?
“Susan, you work in finance. Why don’t you make your blog about personal finances?” I’ll tell you why.
However, I like money. I want to keep what I have and get some more. But I don’t need it dominate my life. So I streamlined all the advice I’ve ever received and cobbled it together with my 34 years of life experience to bring you these 5 sensible ways to deal with your $$$$:
So, I know the next question is – “How do you deal with your money?”
Like my life, I have moments of success and a lot of average moments, but I think over the long run it will yield above-average results. So here’s how I stack up against the 5 tips from above:
What if my husband loses his job?
What if our son needs a private school education?
What if something happens to my mother or his father?
What if I get pregnant with quadruplets?
What if I had invested had not invested in solar panel stocks?
Any computer programmer will tell you that the only way out of a loop is to write an exit statement….so I let myself ride the loop for a bit, then I write an exit statement that takes me back to the present.
For me, sleeping well comes down to minimizing debt and having ample liquidity. The only debt we have is our mortgage, and we have at least enough cash to cover 6 months of expenses. Could we use some of that to take some super nice vacations? Yes, but it wouldn’t be worth it because then I’d be sleepless in a $400/night hotel room instead of my own bed.
This might sound strange coming from someone who is a born planner (See this post), but over the years I have developed a taste for leaving things to chance or opening the door for randomness.
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “random” is:
lacking a definite plan, purpose or pattern
I am not alone. Most of us over plan our lives and get upset when things veer off course. Perhaps, randomness is unavoidable and should be enjoyed as a critical part of life.
So here are 10 Random Facts about Randomness:
Online dictionaries are using social media and its concepts. When you look up a word you can find the “popularity” of that word and you can share where you’ve “Seen and Heard” the word with other people through your Facebook account. Try looking up “random” at www.merriam-webster.com where you will find that “random” is in the bottom 40% of searches on its site. Also, there are 7 Facebook comments about the word. 
The random radio is also good for introducing you to new songs or artists. Isn’t that why we’re all singing Gotye’s “Somebody”…
7. Randomness creates more interesting stories. Try recalling a great vacation. Was it so wonderful because you did everything you planned to do? Perhaps you remember taking an aimless stroll in an unfamiliar city or meeting another couple while getting rained out of your planned activity. I remember all the times we got lost more than all the times we followed the directions exactly.
8. Play:children as randomness:adults. The definition of play sounds awfully similar to random: as a verb “to play” is to move freely or move aimlessly about. As children, playtime is encouraged because it enables the child to develop creativity and imagination. As adults, randomness may be the ticket to finding inspiration and creativity and, ultimately, to more productivity.
9. People who live random lives are also known as Bohemians, hipsters, slackers, spontaneous people or fun people. I wonder if these random people ever get a kick out of brief moments of planning and organization like us planners get a kick out of randomness??
10. My mother used to have a notepad that said at the top, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans.” So maybe when we experience the Joy of Randomness it’s not so random and part of a bigger plan…
So whether you like it or not, randomness is everywhere. Put the planner down and turn off the GPS for a bit. You might as well embrace it and let life take its natural course…
Traveling for the long weekend? Anticipate waiting in traffic or to board a plane? Why not take a break from staring into your mobile device or tablet and find your entertainment in the actual world and try playing a game of “Backstory”. It’s a game that requires no batteries and is appropriate for all ages. You can play it by yourself or even better, with your family.
We started playing “Backstory” when we were young and unmarried hanging out in NYC (mostly in restaurants and bars). We were always on the lookout for celebrities, but often let down. However, there were some fake-out moments.
When we saw celebrity look-alikes, we deemed them “Fake (celebrity name)”. For example, ultra-skinny, long-faced girl with girly hair was “Fake Sarah Jessica Parker” or middle-aged man who looked like a scraggly drunk with blond hair was “Fake Nick Nolte” – actually, I think that was just Gary Busey that time…
Anyway, even in stylish NYC not everyone looks like a celebrity, so when we didn’t spot a celebrity or a fake celebrity, we wouldn’t let the fun end. We came up with the “Backstory”for these ordinary folks, gave them names, developed a small plot line and in 5 or 10 minutes would create a story nearly as compelling as the average sitcom.
You, too, can get in on the fun. Why not try playing “Backstory” on this Memorial Day weekend?
“Backstory” works like this:
It can be really fun, but there are some rules:
Together we decided that she was a woman named “Marjorie” who had been married to “Phil” for 35 years. They lived in Canada and had a mutual love for all things fruity. In fact, Phil was a well-known fruit distributor in their hometown. They had saved a small portion of Phil’s bonus every year for the last 20 so they could take a fabulous trip with their family. However, when their son, Tyler, got fired again for looking at dirty pictures at work, they decided to ditch the family, buy some fabulous resort clothing and fly first class to Tahiti. So far, they were very pleased with their change in vacation plans. Marjorie was looking forward to shopping for black pearls in the town square tomorrow. Phil was looking forward to the nightly show at the hotel and watching those half-dressed Polynesian women shake it again…
By the way, “Backstory” can also be an ongoing game. It can make an otherwise dull daily commute into a quick and fun little ride. I see the same commuters everyday on my 40 minute train ride and actually know very few of them. They have no idea that I know each one of their “Backstories”…
It would be awesome to hear what kind of “Backstory” games you all come up with? Please share!
I am on an ongoing quest to make technology my friend and not my foe (see Techs and Balances). Lately, my favorite technology friend-maker is Flipboard.
I’m seriously late to the game on this one. Apple named it App of the Year….in 2010, and Time proclaimed it one of the Top 50 Innovations…once again, in 2010.
So I’m 2 years behind?! Whatever…in my everyday life, I couldn’t find one person I know who was already using Flipboard. So either we’re all collectively living in the dark or it’s just not mainstream, yet. Well, as I promised you, when I find something incredibly sensible and useful, I will share.
What is it?
It is a social media and news aggregator that puts all the stuff you already like to read and put it into a pretty format. In fact, that pretty format looks remarkably like a magazine complete with “flippable” pages. So you can basically be your own magazine editor, which always sounded like a pretty cool job to me.
How does it work?
You create a Flipboard account and sync it to social media (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc) and then you add categories (News, Recipes, Lifestyle, etc). Flipboard puts it all together so that you can access all of this content in one graphically pleasing spot. Flipboard saves you from having to visit multiple sites and is ten times better than just using “bookmarks”or “favorites” on your web browser.
In the old days of “favorites” or “bookmarks” you had to do all the work by individually visiting the sites you liked. Now, Flipboard brings the content of your chosen sites and/or categories and brings it to you, in addition to providing you other content it thinks you may be interested in. I like things that do work for me.
Each category or source is displayed as a pretty little box on your Flipboard pages (so far you only get 2 pages). You can “flip” the pages like a real magazine, and you can even save an article to read later by using the ReadItLater option (more on this below).
Are there are other apps like this?
RSS: “Really simple syndication” is a way to follow blogs or sites, similar to the bookmark concept, but it pulls the information together in a standard simple text format without all the pretty images and layouts. Most sites now have an icon called a “chicklet” that looks like this: 
. Clicking on this button will let you subscribe to get updates on when there is new content on that site. These subscribed updates are typically called feeds. To access your feeds, you’ll need an RSS aggregator or feed reader. Such as…
Google Reader: If you have a Google account, you can sign up for Google Reader which will aggregate your RSS Feeds based on when each is updated. Unlike Flipboard, it doesn’t add any other things for you to read and the layout is very basic.
Zite: This app populates your Zite page with content it thinks you would like based on what you’ve already put into your Google Reader and what kind of Twitter feeds you subscribe to. If you don’t subscribe to these things, Zite will still let you setup an account, and you can manually choose which categories you want to follow.
Zite uses a special algorithm to figure out what content you’d like, and then delivers that to you, as well.
One advantage Zite has over Flipboard is that it puts the original article in its entirety in the app, while Flipboard often makes you read the rest of the article in a browser. The layout is prettier than Google Reader, but not as flashy as Flipboard.
GoogleCurrents: this is Google Reader’s attempt to be more magazine-like. Like Flipboard, you can sync with social media, but it doesn’t really support Facebook choosing instead to try to focus on and push Google+.
There is also Pulse, which is similar to Flipboard. I haven’t downloaded this, so I can’t really opine on it, but it seems to be the 3rd most-liked news-aggregator based on my informal internet research.
What if I see something I want to read but I don’t have time to read it now?
Flipboard lets you opt to “Read it Later” using either Instapaper or Pocket (aka Read it Later).
Both of these are services that enable you to save web content in one area for you to read it later. Once saved, you can login to these services and read your saved material even without an internet connection. Both of these are great, not just for Flipboard, but for any web browsing.
Can I make SensibleSusan a Category in Flipboard?
Absolutely! In Flipboard, there’s a red ribbon in the upper right hand corner than lets you add sources. You can type “http://sensiblesusan.com/feed/” into the Search field and SensibleSusan.com should pop up. Click on my blog and it will come up in Flipboard. There will be a button on the upper left that says “Add”. Click this and you will have added SensibleSusan to your Flipboard.
In addition, if you want the RSS Feed to access through some other reader, just click on the RSS button on the sidebar to the right of this site.
What are the limitations?
Flipboard is only available on iPad, iPhone and Android as of now. It would be great it there was a desktop version, as well.
Bottom Line:
Google Reader is the easiest way to aggregate RSS feeds but it looks the least exciting since all feeds are converted to plain text.
Zite makes your life easier by bringing content to you and putting it into a newspaper-like format.
Flipboard also makes life easier by bringing content to you, but it incorporates social media, too and looks more like a magazine.
Personally, I like to use Flipboard to read mostly fun, image-driven content and Zite to read news. In other words, Flipboard is my magazine and Zite is my newspaper.
I have only presented a handful of the options out there. I’m curious to know what you’re using that you think is great – please share!
*Oh, and in case I didn’t make it clear enough above, please make sure to sign up for your SensibleSusan updates either through email or RSS (see the sidebar where you can put in your email address or click my chicklet).
Perhaps I have been accused in the past of being pessimistic, but I think I am practical – sensible, really.
I hate when people tell me to think positive or that things will always work out. How do they know? Last time I checked, there are always thousands of reasons why plans get derailed or goals don’t get achieved. There’s a whole list of phrases that really bother me:
My husband has been telling me to think positive. My coworker tells me, if you wake up and think things are going to happen they will. And the books!! Don’t get me started on the plethora of books….
You mean all I have to do is just wake up think “I’m going to positive now! Things will happen!”?? Let me tell you, my negative sensible thinking has been going on for a while. I have proof.
Yesterday was Earth Day. You see, over twenty years ago I wrote on this topic. The essay was dire and dark enough for the local paper to run it. So to prove how far I have to go from myself to becoming a super-positive person, I’m sharing with you my “Mother Earth” essay I wrote as a 12-year-old. See below:
Greensboro News & Record, Sunday, Nov 11, 1990
What will our Mother Earth look like 100 years from now? She’ll be very, very ill, for one thing. Her surface probably will be very dried out and her beautiful features will be dead or dying. Don’t expect all her limbs to be there. She and her children will be tired and worn. Her children will be wearing gas masks and oxygen tanks because of all the chemicals in the air. All clothing will be cool and light since the ozone layer has vanished and it has let extreme heat come in. This is also a cause for wearing sunglasses. Her children will have to wear sunscreen to protect their skin. Food will be scarce because all of the crops will have died. In 100 years don’t expect life to be fun or comfortable, we’ll be living dead. So be kind to Earth, our mother.
Susan
Grade 7
Believe it or not, I was a happy kid. I really don’t know where these dark thoughts from, and I can assure you that if I ever laid awake at night worrying it was about boys and gossip – not the environment.
So far, almost 22 years have gone by, and I think a lot of Mother Earth’s beautiful features are thriving and most people are surviving just fine without gas masks and oxygen tanks. Although goofy weather events, including an incredible warm winter here in the Northeast, seem to be telling us something…
My concern for the next 78 years has less to do with the ozone layer and more to do with the economic environment – but that’s a different post…
So, 22 years later, I’m trying to be more positive – really, I am.
I’m trying to be sunny. In fact, someone awarded my the Sunshine Award a couple of weeks ago by TrishaDM.
The blogging award comes with some rules about sharing some information about yourself and mentioning/nominating other blogs. I’ll get to all that soon. Right now, I’ve taken this Sunshine award as a directive – so, yes, I will add more sunshine. And, I vow, that my next published writing will be more upbeat and at least written in a consistent tense (I can’t overlook all flaws now…).
By the way, I do believe there is some merit to these self-help books I mentioned above. It would be hypocritical of me to eschew double negatives in writing and then permit myself to be doubly negative about positive-thinking books….
Full disclosure – the only book of the bunch I read was “The Power of Now”, which was a gift from my Aunt Sherry who was a generous and fun-loving woman bright enough to light up any room. She is truly missed. So I think it’s about time I reread that book, which is available free as a PDF here. I’m positively overdue for rereading it….
Gimme dat Trophy
In my mother’s house, there’s a vast collection of small, medium and large gold trophies with little girls in action. They’re swimming, holding a bat and getting ready to shoot a free throw. There’s also a box of multicolored ribbons, a binder of Certificates of Excellence and the occasional newspaper article mentioning my name.
It takes a lot of drive, determination and passion to be a winner and, often, a lot of failed attempts. As a kid, I wasn’t competing out of passion. I was competing to win a trophy – a plastic, gold-colored dust-collector.
“Gimme dat trophy….” was the mindset.
In my head this mantra is set to the tune of “Gimme Dat Oscar”, a gangsta rap skit from Mad TV. They did a spoof on Forrest Whitaker’s nomination for the Oscar in 2006 for his role as Idi Amin in “The Last King of Scotland”. Hysterical clip – check it out:
The Grading System
In school, there are 5 grades: “A”, “B”, “C”, “D” and “F”. The first 4 are all considered passing grades. All you have to do is not get an “F” to get to the next grade.
Of course, everyone knows that you have to get the higher grades to be college-eligible, but, nonetheless, you can still be a high school graduate without ever doing your “best” work.
In the real world, the only grades that count are “A+” and “C”. To get a promotion you have to be the best of the best or an “A+”. Even if you’re slightly above average, it counts for nothing. You get little recognition and seldom get promoted. To make sure you get to keep your job you have to be at least “C” or average. Anything less than that and you’re considered a failure and will likely end up on the chopping block.
There has been a lot of debate among educators and parents on this very topic. I just think that the focus should be on the joy of learning and less on the need to get perfect grades.
Everyone rises at the same pace
Each child must spend one year at each grade and cannot skip ahead. Occasionally, some smarty pants will get to skip a grade, but everyone will know why. “He got a 1600 on the SAT in 7th grade!”
In the real world, some people get promoted multiple steps without any explanation at all. Sometimes it is obviously for merit, but other times, it may just be a matter of being in the right spot at the right time.
I don’t think it makes sense to accelerate children through school because they need to be mature before facing the real world. However, somewhere in the curriculum someone should explain that success may come sooner for some than others and that the only real measure of success should be your own metric.
It’s not that bad. Just gimme dat trophy!
I am being a bit facetious here. I’m doing just fine in the real world. And don’t let my grammatically incorrect blog post title fool you – I did very well in school. Obviously, I learned enough to use big words like “facetious”, which is a word I use frequently in the real world…
I also know that children are sensitive and need positive reinforcement. That’s the thing – I am still sensitive and need positive reinforcement.
Trophies for participation and a generous grading system may have let achievement come too easily. I was a great student and got mostly “A’s” simply because the “A’s” seemed quite attainable. It’s as though we were given permission to set the bar low – a height that I grew accustomed to.
Disclaimer: I am fully aware that my tune will likely change when my son is in school and particpating in sports and activities. I’ll want that little bugger to feel good about himself and get as many gold dust-collectors that make him happy…
Have you ever read the book, “The Carrot Seed” by Ruth Krauss?
It’s incredibly simple and woefully bland to look at. It is 12 pages of simple words and filled with only 4 dull colors – brown, white, beige and 70’s yellow.
Surprisingly, my kid loves it. Lately he has been making me read it to him 3 times before he falls asleep. Why this book above the other more colorful books? I initially had no idea.
I understand wanting to read “Good Night Moon” – it’s a cool little story. I really enjoy the newly illustrated “The Little Engine that Could” because I like to do the sound effects and it’s beautiful to look at. But “The Carrot Seed”? After reading the first few pages, I’m ready to crawl into the crib and head for a snoozefest.
Let me condense an already fairly short book for you:
A kid wants to plant a carrot seed.
One by one his family members tell him that it won’t grow.
He doesn’t listen and waters the plant anyway.
Nothing grows for a couple of days. Then one day a carrot grows.
The End
Mesmerizing, right?
So why do I think my kid is a genius again?
He makes me read this book multiple times. The other night after the second reading, he looked at me to make sure I was getting it. I think he thought I was just going through the motions. He sensed I wasn’t entirely “in the moment”, so he made me do it again. Then a light bulb went off in my head – this is a story about persistence.
Slight dramatization of the actual exchange:
Owen turns to me and cups my chin in his hand. He turns it slightly to face him. With eyes wide he pleads, “Read it again.”
I flip back to the cover and begin to read it again. This time paying attention to the words and looking at the very simple drawings and simple colors.
“And then, one day, a carrot came up just as the little boy had known it would.” I read aloud.
Together we looked at the young boy carting off his giant carrot in his wheel barrow holding his head high.
Owen turns to me and says, “He didn’t give up mom.”
“You’re right. He really kept at it even when it seemed like it was unlikely to happen.”
The all-knowing blue eyes stared at me to make sure I got the message.
“Yes, Owen. Giving up can be easy. I should keep at it and make sure it happens despite how hard it may seem.”
My kid might be onto something. Perhaps he sensed my defeatist attitude about my job lately. Maybe he knew that I could do it but that I needed to be patient and keep at it until one day success would come. By day I was getting pushed around by 200 lb men. By night I was being put in my place by a 26 lb bundle of wisdom.
So, I’m keeping at it and hoping to cart home a giant carrot one day, just as my little boy had known I would.
Yep, my kid is a genius.
This is not an April Fool’s Joke – I’ve actually been nominated for an award. Thank you Peace, Love & Fabulous Things for giving me the Versatile Blogger Award!
First of all, I haven’t been nominated for an award since I was a kid. Second of all, I can’t believe anyone cares what I have to say, especially enough to give me a shout out!
What is this Versatile Blogger Award? This is the way it works:
If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.
So, I will pay it forward. I therefore nominate the following bloggers:
I realize that’s only 8 bloggers. I think 15 is kinda a random number and I should get to choose how many I want to nominate. As I see more blogs I like, I will certainly give them a shout out….
And, in case you care, here are 7 things about myself you probably do not know:
So thanks again Peace, Love & Fabulous Things for the award and thanks to everyone who has been reading the blog. It’s been a really fun outlet, and I look forward to sharing more with you all!
Here’s your chance to tell me how you really feel – I’ve created a little poll to see what you’d like more of here at Sensible Susan. Please take a minute to vote and feel free to comment with your own personal requests. I look forward to hearing from you!
Mad Men is back! I can’t wait for the 2 hour season premier on Sunday at 9pm. It has been far too long.
So, I know it’s super cheesy, but I had to do it – I Mad Men’ed myself and the hubby at the AMC site for the show – MadMenYourself.
There I am with perfectly coiffed hair meeting Don for a cocktail. And that’s my husband attending a meeting with the Sterling Cooper crew (drink in hand, of course).
Man, I wish the office place still looked this stylish. I’m really sick of seeing men in blue check Brooks Brothers shirts and khaki-colored slacks.
So there are many, many appealing things about this show, but I think the magic is that it appeals to men and women for 2 reasons:
Surely we are not the only family with an official cocktail, right? It is our personal twist on the Manhattan. It is best enjoyed among the company of good friends and family.
I like my cocktails like my men – I only need one strong one and it better be stiff ….
The Master Builder
2 shots Maker’s Mark bourbon
splash of red vermouth (about 1/2 shot)
dash of bitters
1 maraschino cherry
ice
1. Mix bourbon and vermouth in a stylish glass
2. Add a dash of bitters and stir
3. Add ice
4. Top with cherry and a bit of juice if you like
5. Enjoy in style!
I wrote a while ago about my love of books. I claimed it started with the Nancy Drew series, but maybe it really started with Golden Books.
They were colorful and had this beautiful gold strip lining the binding. I am told they occupied quite a bit of my time when I was little.
Another childhood favorite was the Do Bee Books.
I loved these, as well. They were guideline books telling little ones how to be good little girls and boys or “Do Bees”. I wanted to be a “Do Bee” and not be a “Don’t Bee”.
I think these books largely did their job. I grew up a fairly considerate kid and, I think, a well-mannered and diligent adult. Even today I think of trying to be “Do Bee”.
More seriously, I try to be like the best “Do Bee” I ever knew, my father. My father’s name was Richard, but everyone called him Dick. It’s not a very popular nickname now. In fact the derogatory nature of that nickname is something I encounter on a regular basis. I work on Wall Street. I encounter Dicks everywhere I turn and very few of them are actually named Richard.
When we were little my cousins wondered what they should call their uncle. And so they asked my mother, Aunt Helen, if it was okay to call their uncle, Uncle Dick. She said yes.
My father, Dick was a very practical, well-read and economical man. I always admired him, and when said with the right tone, I am flattered to be called “Little Dick”.
Unfortunately, my father is no longer here, but his legacy remains. I find myself constantly trying to be a “Little Dick”. I think Big Dick would love that I created a website about sensible things. Sensibility is one of the many traits we had in common. I think if I had to write my own children’s book of manners I might entertain the idea of using the title “Do Bee a Dick”…then I might come to my sense and rework that title…
Perhaps a better way to honor him is to start another category on this site – “Do Bee a Dick”.
I have always thought that the world was divided into people with good self-control and the rest of us. There are those who workout every day at 5:00am and the rest of us. There are those who stay focused and ignore the office chitchat, and there’s the rest of us. There are those who don’t watch the Real Housewives of Fill in the Blank City, and there’s the rest of us.
Self-control for me has always been like a flaky friend. I am always hopeful it will show up, but I never count on it. Even when it does come through, I can never be sure when I will see it again…
So I am always looking for ways to get that elusive self-control. I am not a huge fan of self-help books, but I do like science and I can always appreciate research. I recently read a great book called “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength”. It is written by psychologist Roy F. Baumeister and NY Times science writer John Tierney. They believe the key to self-control is willpower and that willpower is actually a muscle. Like any other muscle, willpower needs glucose and willpower can strengthen with exercise.
I was initially very excited to hear about this glucose thing. Could this be another excuse to eat and not feel bad about the extra calories, like when I was breastfeeding? Yes and no. Not surprisingly, the authors suggest maintaining a healthy diet as key to strengthening willpower. Apparently, that old wisdom of eating a good breakfast before school has some science behind it. The authors believe that we lose self-control when our glucose is low, and that’s when we make poor decisions.
The book gives real life examples of people (including some famous people) and their experiences with willpower (or lack of). I found these stories fascinating, particularly the one about a former street performance artist. There’s also an interesting section on Eric Clapton and his struggles with addiction.
Once again, a lot of what I read in this book seemed like common sense. For example, some of this stuff sounds like “practice makes perfect”. That’s nothing new, but what is interesting is that practicing in one area of your life may be making you better in more than one area because you’ve strengthened your willpower muscle. The authors caution against trying to tackle more than one area for improvement at a time because when you’re trying to build the willpower muscle, you don’t want to strain it until it is stronger. This is the same philosophy behind telling drug addicts to wait to quit smoking until they’ve kicked their drug habit. I am using this guidance as an excuse to continue pursuing hobbies. If being disciplined about doing Sudoku makes me a better Sudoku player, then maybe it will make me a better worker in general…
The authors also give examples of ways to exercise the willpower muscle that seem very easy and can be applicable to most people.
One of my resolutions last year was to read more non-fiction books, and I am glad that I read this one. It’s a quick read. I read it almost as fast as the first Hunger Games book.
Now I feel like I have the tools to get that self-control I have always been after. Apparently, I just need to literally exercise it!
Have you a read a book that changed your life? For me, that book was The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene.
I got this book from Santa in 1987 – the year that I really wanted a computer. The home computer was not popular just yet, so I knew I was dreaming when I put it on my list. However, my mother, I mean Santa, knew that this book would be better for me than any piece of technology. Despite its old-fashioned image on the front, I decided to read it. It was love at first read.
It wasn’t the plot line of the book that had a direct impact on me, but it was the character of Nancy Drew. She was attractive, smart and polished. She was everything I wished I could be. Nancy Drew made me a book lover, and I read every book in the series.
Once I became an adult, I had to leave behind childish things like the Nancy Drew books. Now it is increasingly hard to justify reading fictional characters doing fictional things when there are millions of real people living real lives. On my iPad, I feel compelled to read each newspaper app and consolidated news app before letting myself dig into pretend worlds on my Kindle app.
So last week, I was reading one of those news apps and discovered the following article:
The Business Case for Reading Novels by Anne Kreamer
Apparently there is a scientific reason to read novels again since reading about people in the fictional world can help us relate to people in the real world. This is great news for us book lovers. I can now justify reading any 99¢ option on my Kindle even if it isn’t a historical biography or business book.
I hope everyone has a similar story about a life-changing book or character. If you haven’t, I highly recommend the Nancy Drew books. After all these years, I still think Nancy Drew makes a much more sensible role model than any pop star, movie star or Kardashian.
Susan Van Sciver 
