Tag: kids

  • My kid is a genius: Part 1

    My kid is a genius: Part 1

    Have you ever read the book, “The Carrot Seed” by Ruth Krauss?

    It’s incredibly simple and woefully bland to look at.  It is 12 pages of simple words and filled with only 4 dull colors – brown, white, beige and 70’s yellow.

    Surprisingly, my kid loves it.  Lately he has been making me read it to him 3 times before he falls asleep.  Why this book above the other more colorful books?  I initially had no idea.

    I understand wanting to read “Good Night Moon” – it’s a cool little story.  I really enjoy the newly illustrated “The Little Engine that Could” because I like to do the sound effects and it’s beautiful to look at.  But “The Carrot Seed”? After reading the first few pages, I’m ready to crawl into the crib and head for a snoozefest.

    Let me condense an already fairly short book for you:

    A kid wants to plant a carrot seed.

    One by one his family members tell him that it won’t grow.

    He doesn’t listen and waters the plant anyway.

    Nothing grows for a couple of days.  Then one day a carrot grows.

    The End

    Mesmerizing, right?

    So why do I think my kid is a genius again?

    He makes me read this book multiple times.  The other night after the second reading, he looked at me to make sure I was getting it.  I think he thought I was just going through the motions.  He sensed I wasn’t entirely “in the moment”, so he made me do it again.  Then a light bulb went off in my head – this is a story about persistence.

    Slight dramatization of the actual exchange:

    Owen turns to me and cups my chin in his hand.  He turns it slightly to face him.  With eyes wide he pleads, “Read it again.”

    I flip back to the cover and begin to read it again.  This time paying attention to the words and looking at the very simple drawings and simple colors.

    “And then, one day, a carrot came up just as the little boy had known it would.” I read aloud.

    Together we looked at the young boy carting off his giant carrot in his wheel barrow holding his head high.

    Owen turns to me and says, “He didn’t give up mom.”

    “You’re right.  He really kept at it even when it seemed like it was unlikely to happen.”

    The all-knowing blue eyes stared at me to make sure I got the message.

    “Yes, Owen.  Giving up can be easy.  I should keep at it and make sure it happens despite how hard it may seem.”

    My kid might be onto something.  Perhaps he sensed my defeatist attitude about my job lately.  Maybe he knew that I could do it but that I needed to be patient and keep at it until one day success would come.  By day I was getting pushed around by 200 lb men.  By night I was being put in my place by a 26 lb bundle of wisdom.

    So, I’m keeping at it and hoping to cart home a giant carrot one day, just as my little boy had known I would.

    Yep, my kid is a genius.

  • My kid – the bargaining chip

    My kid – the bargaining chip

    If I had Gisele Bundchen’s long legs, I would absolutely use them to flag down a car to assist me if I was broken down on the side of the road.

    If I had piercing blue eyes, I would stare at men until they bought me drinks and offered me trips.

    If I had unwitting charm, I would use it to get better seats on the plane, prime reservations and rooms with a view.

    I have none of these things.  At best, I have had a handful of moments where my wit or smile may have granted me a few perks.  The problem is I am not always witty and friendly, so I need something else to win me VIP treatment.  That something is my undeniably, adorable son.

    Is it wrong to use my 16-month old kid as bargaining chip?  I don’t think so.  I am not causing harm nor deceit.

    You see, Old SensibleSusan would say that the only way to get decent service is to look both presentable and approachable.  And so, in most circumstances, I will put on makeup before leaving the house.  I will try to make sure toilet paper is not sticking to my rear end.

    New SensibeSusan believes that there are times when looking put-together can work against you.  Looking a little disheveled can be advantageous.  Looking a little disheveled and carrying a toddler can be really advantageous.

    Example #1:  We had to replace 2 cable boxes because the toddler lost the card that makes these things work.  I rather put a stick in my eye than pay any more money to the cable company.  So I went  to the cable store with 2 heavy cable boxes in a bag on my left shoulder and a wiggly toddler with precious curls bouncing on my right hip.  One look at his super blond curls, and I had all 3 service people behind the desk trying to help me.

    Cost:  10 more minutes of aggravation trying to get the toddler in and out of the car while balancing the boxes

    Benefit:  $75 card replacement fee waived, 2 stickers for the kid and curbside delivery of new boxes

    Example #2:  We had the joy of dealing with a leaky kitchen sink this week.  The plumber said it was the faucet.  I did the research online, found the lowest price and went into the local plumbing supply store.  I knew the poor local businessman couldn’t compete with Amazon.com.  So I printed out the online price including 1 day shipping cost and brought the paper and the toddler in to the store.

    Cost:  down to only 8 more minutes of aggravation trying to get the toddler in and out of the car

    Benefit:  $50 savings.

    Example #3:  When my son was 9-months old, I took him on his first plane trip to see my family down South.  At the desk, the agent offered to switch my seat to another area of the plane where there was an unsold seat so my son could sit there, even though I had not paid for him to have a ticket.  When we landed in NC, my luggage came off the carousel with the entire top ripped off and about a roll of duct tape now securing it to the rest of the suitcase.  The baggage claim center gave me a brand new black rolling suitcase there on the spot.

    Cost:  I don’t know if you can measure the aggravation of traveling alone with an infant

    Benefit:  extra seat on departing flight, new luggage and emailed picture from the flight attendant of my son on his first plane ride

    I’m not saying that this always works.  For every kind flight attendant, there’s some jackhole who cuts you off and doesn’t open the door for you.  In life, you have to use what you have, and right now he’s the best thing I have – so I will use him as my little bargaining chip.

    If it works this well for me, imagine how well it might work for you if you’re a dude….nothing screams “help me” more than an unshaven dad in a ratty t-shirt with a kid in tow..

    **Poker chip above was by made by a friend and owner of www.bestpokerstuff.com**